This past weekend at ATF, one of the things that the teens seemed to really get is wants and needs. Joel Johnson talked about our natural needs (food, air, water) compared to our wants (facebook, cars, iphones). And when we get them mixed up, life gets hard. Smoking cessation helps you live a longer life; breathing cessation shortens it significantly. Joel talked about when you need God, like you need air, it’ll change your life – for the better.
At the hotel later that night, we had a discussion with our girls about their own wants versus needs and that having a boyfriend is a want, no matter what society and Hollywood and their friends say. But then the point was made that not all relationships/friendships are wants. God puts people in our lives that we need – for all kinds of reasons.
Sunday night, we had a meeting to plan some events for our teen girls over the summer. All in all the meeting went well and we had some great ideas. After church, Vickie, who was in the meeting came to me with some pointers on how to improve my meeting-facilitating skills. Then she asked me “do I poke and prod you too much?” It was an interesting question, and my response was just as much. I said “Vickie, you’re my designated poker and proder. That’s one relationship that’s on my need list, not the want list.” We laughed and hugged because it was all meant in the utmost respect.
And don’t think that this means I’m forced to hang out with Vickie. I want to be friends with Vickie and hang out with her, and I am. But it doesn’t stop there – even when I don’t like it, I need Vickie to poke and prod me, to tell me I interrupt people too much and that I ramble when I ask questions.
So, what is the relationship that you should move from your Want list to your Need list? Who do you need to designate as your official “poker and proder”? Maybe you should tell them.
My family started going to FCF (now GBF) the summer before I started my freshman year of college. After attending for several months, one Sunday my mom asked me “do you know that guy? He’s the assistant pastor’s son; he goes to Emmanuel. He’s cute! Have you seen him before?” My normal, 19 year old answer was “No, mama” and changed the subject, even though I was secreting eying the guy she pointed out.
Several more months went by, it was summer time again, and I was home from college. My dad had a summer coaching job in Virginia and my mom and sister went to visit him for Father’s Day. I was taking summer classes so I couldn’t go. My grandparents were also out of town so I spent Father’s Day all by myself – but I went to church! So, after Sunday night’s service, Mrs. Marie stopped me and asked where everyone was. I told her about their trip and she said “You look down. You need a mama hug. I want you to meet my son – this is Ken!” Ken rushed in, said “hey”, and rushed out.
A few weeks later, at Echo, I sat between these two black girls (Ann and Vickie, the super twins – we made an Oreo!) and Ken sat across the table from us (as I said before – all love blooms at Echo) and I gave him permission to call me.
So – Ken and I got together thanks to our mamas!
I had a special request for this one. So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I think I will tell you some stories about me and Ken. This is the story of how I caught him (he told this story in the teen room so I won’t get in trouble).
One Sunday night, early in our relationship, we were sitting in my car waiting on the rest of the gang so we could go to Echo (the place where all love blooms). I had just been introduced to the band, Five Iron Frenzy (anyone remember them?), so I had their CD in my CD-player in my car. The song “Pre-ex-girlfriend” came on and I made some comment about “hey, it’s our theme song!” He started pouting and then decided to tickle me. Somehow, the triceps of his left arm ended up in front of my face! My protection mechanism kicked in and so I bit his left triceps! Yes, you heard me right – he tickled me and I bit him!
I believe he told me later that the next day, his dad came to wake him up and asked him what happened to his arm. Obviously, he didn’t tell PK that I bit him! But I left a nice teeth-shaped bruise on his arm. So, now the world knows!!
So, just ask Ken, when Cyn gives love bites, she REALLY bites!