I’ve killed 3 wasps in 2 days in my house.  With the warm weather, they’ve woke up and seem to be everywhere.  And it’s reminded me that wasps are my #1 least favorite thing about warm weather.  Here’s why….

On one not-so-special day in May 2005, I had nothing much to do so I decided I’d drive from Franklin Springs to Lavonia to use Ken’s mom’s tanning bed that she had in the storage room of their garage.  I was told that I could come over and use it anytime I wanted.  It was a nice day other than my pasty white legs reflecting in the sunlight.  So, I go to tan.

I turned on the light in the room and noticed 2 wasps flying around it.  I didn’t panic, I just thought “as long as they stay up there while I’m down here, we’ll be just fine.”  I was only going to tan for about 7 minutes (you have to build up), but I set the timer on 20 minutes to let it warm up (cold tanning beds are not fun) while I put on my tanning lotion.

It was counting down and was about time for me to get in.  I looked around – Wasps on ceiling? Check. Door locked? Check.  Goggles? Check.  So, I open the lid and lay down.  About 12 seconds later, this excruciating pain shot through my back and I came flying out of the tanning bed and starting stomping my feet and dancing around the room.  When I could finally see through my tears, there was a wasp flailing around in the tanning bed where my back used to be.

Now, I said this was a not-so-special day in May; it was actually 3 days before my 22rd birthday.  I couldn’t tell if I was crying because it hurt, or because I was mad that I had to get completely dressed to go find someone to help me, or because I had gone 21 years, 11 months, and 27 days without being stung my anything worse than an ant!

So, I come out of the room into the sunshine and Marie is coming around the end of the house and sees me.  Our interaction went something like this…

Marie:  “Hey, girl!  I didn’t know you were here.”

Cyn:  *sob* Hey, Marie… *sob* I just got stung… *sob* by a wasp… *sob*sob* in the TANNING BED!  *SOB*SOB*SOB*

Marie: Oh no!  Come in the house, I’m sure I’ve got something we can put on it.  You’re not allergic, are you

Cyn: *sob* I don’t know… *sob* never been stung before *sob*sob*

<enter the house> Marie reaches in the freezer and grabs a few ice cubes, wraps them in a paper towel, and tucks it in my bra strap to hold it in place to get the swelling down.  Then she pulls out the “medicine tub” and starts looking through tubes of creams

Marie: I’ve got some Benadryl cream and some Benadryl spray and some Benadryl capsules and some Benzocain spray and some Neosporin.  Here’s some Advil, take these now.  I guess we can just use all of these.

So, standing in her kitchen, she proceeds to apply Benadryl spray, Benzocain spray, Benadryl cream, and Neosporin, followed by a Band-Aid – always letting the previous layer dry/soak in before applying the next.

Then we walked back out to the storage room to see why there were wasps in there.  The wasp that stung me was still laying in the tanning bed, and the 2nd one was back up at the light on the ceiling.  She made sure they were dead and ensured me that she’d have Kenneth to look around outside for a nest since we didn’t see one inside.  And we went back to the house.

Then she says “Here’s 2 Benadryl capsules, but don’t take them until you get home and know you aren’t going to have to drive anywhere else.  The guys were out working, they should be home soon.  Here’s some chocolate pudding, I’m going to go finish weeding in the front yard.”

So, when it was all over, Ken found me sitting on his mom’s front porch, red-faced and teary-eyed, and eating chocolate pudding – and still white!

The good news…Ken loves me in spite of my whiteness and I haven’t been stung since.